Mental Wellness – MD Update

It Starts with a Secret

February 1, 2020February 21, 2020 Jan Anderson, PSYD, LPCC anatomy of a breakup, chance, Diane Vaughn, end of the relationship seesaw, essential start point, essential start point of a felt connection, experiential learn, felt, felt connection, good chance, good table manner, halfway home, hard thing, let 's start, let 's talk, life-altering decision, necessary pain, new idea, No-Win, No-Win strategy, one hundred % guarantee, partner, partner 's affection, person share, quiet recess, relationship go, relationship seesaw, sane possible position, semi-empty, semi-empty house, skill, strategy, strategy no-win, strategy spiral, Sure-Fire, Sure-Fire way, take birth control pill, total transparency, turn away moment, ultimate victim position, undisclosed decision, unnecessary strife, value of good table manner, victim position, volatile guy, vulnerable thing, weird part

It starts with a secret— a decision you make in the quiet recesses of your own mind. This decision will

Mental Wellness

Are There Good Reasons for Bad Feelings?

November 1, 2019February 21, 2020 Jan Anderson, PSYD, LPCC American 15-44, American 15-44 year, anxiety, bad feel, brain, brain influence mood, brain sound, chemical imbalance, committed love relationship, costly thing, crucial foundation, Darwinian, depression, depression center, depression research, disorder, evolutionary medicine, evolutionary psychiatry, founder of evolutionary medicine, frontier of evolutionary psychiatry, funny noise, good reason, goodness, health service administration, image001 photo, image002 photo, intolerable side effect, Jesse Wright, lead cause of disability, meaningful happy life, mental health service administration, mental health treatment, mindless selection, mood, mood disorder, mood mechanism, moodostat, naïve Darwinian, Nesse, ordinary Darwinian, ordinary psychiatrist, origin of mood, photo, pretty good way, psychiatry, Randolph Nesse, selfish competition, stop treat symptom, stop view symptom, symptom, united state 's investment, UofL, UofL depression center conference, UOFL Randolph Nesse, usual stuff

“Why does depression exist at all?” “Why are mental disorders so confusing?” I wasn’t expecting these types of questions from

Mental Wellness

The Divorce Dilemma

October 1, 2019December 9, 2019 Jan Anderson, PSYD, LPCC challenge decision, copy of crazy time, couple experience marital problem, death of the spouse, dimension of life happiness, divorce, divorce dilemma, divorce workshop, exquisite vulnerability, family challenge, good divorce, happiness, kid, level of stuckness, life event, life happiness, marital strife, new therapist, OR go, parent stay, partner, perfectly-calibrated, perfectly-calibrated parent, place of exquisite vulnerability, recognized divorce workshop, spouse, stressful life event, therapist, too-lofty, too-lofty observation, unhappiness, unhappy marriage

While I was going through my messy divorce, I was stunned to run across a book called The Good Divorce.

Mental Wellness

The Problem with Intimacy

September 1, 2019October 28, 2019 Jan Anderson, PSYD, LPCC alcohol consumption, being benefit, closeness, cognitive distortion, cultural tendency, dangerous little bugger, degree of distance, distortion, distressed mother, emotional risk, empower way, feel safe, golf, good chance of intimacy, good character trait, handy way, herd, herd animal, high risk, human being benefit, human condition, intimacy, lesson, like herd animal, lone wolf, lone wolf mentality, lonely mother, meaningful connection, mentality, new thought structure, obesity, painful awareness, reality, reality of the human condition, relationship quicksand, skill, skill memory, tactics, think error, timeworn tactics, universal law, universal law of relationship, vulnerability, weak-minded individual, wolf, wolf mentality

“We’re not close.” That was the elegantly simple way a distressed mother tearfully described her relationships with her grown children.

Mental Wellness

Estranged from Your Adult Child: The Last Thing You Ever Expected

June 1, 2019September 4, 2019 Jan Anderson, PSYD, LPCC adult child, alienation of divorced parent, child blame, child-centered family, childless member, childless member of society remark, college-aged son, daughter-in-law, dependent parent, Elizabeth Vagnoni, endless heartache, estrangement, estrangement stem, family-oriented time, family-oriented time of year approach, feel of profound vulnerability, guilt, happy life, heartache, Indian court system, Joshua Coleman, kid, long-term conflict, loyalty conflict, mental illness, mother 's befuddlement, Mr. Samuel, parent advice, parent-centered, Parent-Child, Parent-Child estrangement, primal bond, professional help, profound vulnerability, quick-fix solution, Raphael Samuel, Raphael Samuel of Mumbai, refuse contact, relationship repair, remorse, San Francisco psychologist, serious life situation, six-session, six-session internet seminar, society remark, son-, son-in-law, successful adulthood, temperamental mismatch, time of heartache, twenty-seven-year-old, unanticipated place, Vagnoni, well-meaning parent, year approach

As holidays, birthdays and other family-oriented times of year approach, it’s a time of heartache for parents whose adult children

Mental Wellness

How to Make Peace with Your Parents — And Just About Anybody Else

May 1, 2019June 21, 2019 Jan Anderson, PSYD, LPCC accusatory suffer, bad feel, Bibliotherapy, case of abuse, character draw, emotional baggage, emotional recovery, emotional wound, endless loop of ruminate, enjoy movie, evidence-based recovery method, experience part fit, forgiveness, forgiveness process, good life, hoped-for relationship, ill-tempered meanness, insufficient condition, loss of the hoped-for relationship, mother 's decades-long, mother 's hostility, near-effortless, near-effortless opportunity, painful reality, parent 's hurtful behavior, recovery, recovery look, resilience, set consequence, sheer desperation, sincere-but-delusional, sincere-but-delusional pretend, surprise benefit, therapy, victim mentality, write therapy, Wynona Judd

“It’s always something or your mother,” as Wynona Judd is fond of saying. I guess she should know. She and

Mental Wellness

How Resilience Protects Your Heart — Inside and Out

March 1, 2019May 13, 2019 Jan Anderson, PsyD, LPPC 20 year anniversary, 20 year anniversary of successful operation, abortion decision, American heart association 's Louisville circle, American heart association event, anger, bad feel, broken heart syndrome, Care, Care center, chair of the American heart association 's Louisville circle, challenge population, Christine, Christine M. Kleinert institute, death of long-term spouse, decades-long addiction, doctoral process, evidence-based recovery method, evidence-based therapy, food desert, great ice-breaker, hand transplant, health of the heart, healthy food option, heart association event, image002 photo, incest survivor, Jewish hospital, KentuckyOne, KentuckyOne health, Kleinert Kutz, Kleinert Kutz hand, long-term spouse, Louisville, Louisville circle, Louisville hand transplant program, love-deprived, love-deprived adolescent, M., M. Kleinert, M. Kleinert institute, Major relationship breakup, Matthew Scott, mind-body, mind-body connection, mother 's demise, name of relative, physician, real health risk, recovery, resentment, resilience, side of addiction, stress-induced cardiomyopathy, surgeon, transplant, UofL, urban food desert, usual culprit, victim mentality

“What’s your why?” I knew that question would be a great ice-breaker at the American Heart Association event I was

Mental Wellness

Treat Your Spouse Like a Stranger

January 1, 2019March 21, 2019 Jan Anderson, PsyD, LPPC Alex Lickerman, argue couple, B., balanced perspective, contrarian strategy, convenient distraction, counselor, crazy behavior, distraction, distressed marriage, divorce coach, familiarity-breeds-contempt-reversal, familiarity-breeds-contempt-reversal technique, favorite contrarian strategy, gratitude, happy couple, healthy distance, healthy sense of self-respect, imperfect harmony, intense feel of gratitude, interest strategy, intimacy, John Gottman, Joshua Coleman, Joshua Coleman note, just-right, just-right balance, just-right balance of healthy distance, loss of people, marriage counselor, marriage researcher, Matthew fray, Matthew fray 's lament, mystery, opposed thing, opposite impulse, partner, people guess, silent treatment, sophisticated skill, sport advice, spouse, stranger, time-out, toxic pattern, tricky territory, unhappy couple, unhappy people

For decades, marriage counselors have been advising couples to go on dates. A good idea in theory, right? Get away

Mental Wellness

How to Get Smarter and Happier by This Time Next Year

December 1, 2018February 15, 2019 Jan Anderson, PsyD, LPPC adaptation strategy, amped-up, amped-up version, brain, cortex, current social group, dear john letter, dilemma, emotion, emotional intelligence, essential-to-personal-wellbeing, essential-to-personal-wellbeing life skill, hard skill, intelligence, intelligent adaptation, john letter, lame result, life dilemma, low percentile, low-nurture, make intelligent adaptation, maladaptive response, once-adaptive, once-adaptive behavior, one-down, one-down position relative, original life situation, power of the primitive brain, primitive brain, QuickBooks, relationship crash, relationship intelligence, reptilian brain, small life, smarter, unspoken rule

I’ve noticed the things that overwhelm us during the holidays are really no different from what stresses us out the

Mental Wellness

Life Hacks to Handle Difficult People

November 1, 2018December 28, 2018 Jan Anderson, PsyD, LPPC big result, button area, challenge psychological work, difficult people, doable way, E.Q., emotional intelligence skill, extraordinary result, felt-sense, felt-sense experience, good case scenario, help get traction, hot button area, intelligence skill, intimidate energy, let, let 's call, MDU #116, negative behavior, neutral stand position, no. challenge, optimum place, original strength, person 's part, person 's wavelength, positive aspect, positive way, powerful shift, rational place, redefine goal, self-responsible, strengths-based, strengths-based process, success experience

Publisher’s note: This is part 2. Part 1 ran in MDU #116 You Can Be Right and Happy How can

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