Mental Wellness – MD Update

Mom Guilt? How to Give Yourself — and Your Loved Ones — a Break.

October 1, 2021October 18, 2021 Jan Anderson, PSYD, LPCC 9-year-old son, adult child, adult-child estrangement, approved role, archetype, birthrate, care of the kiddos, caregiving, caregiving species, caregiving system, critic attack, displacement of the husband, Dr. Rohr, estrangement, ever-changing, ever-changing rule book, evolution of a unique caregiving system, evolution of the good mother archetype, evolutionarily-inspired, evolutionarily-inspired job, evolved survival system, family system, glare omission, good mother, good mother archetype, guilt, idea of a good mother, imagined aggression, inner critic, inner critic attack, Jessica Rohr, kiddos, long developmental period, mammalian caregiving species, Manuela Maier, mind of Jessica Rohr, mom, Mom guilt, mom guilt trigger, mother archetype, pernicious feel, pre-frontal, pre-frontal cortex, prolonged developmental period, prominent mainstream, rabenmutter, rabenmutter attitude, raven mother, reason 2, reptile egg hatch, secret shame, specific mom guilt trigger, train wreck of conflict emotion, trigger, twenty-first-century mom, unique caregiving system, wine mom, world 's low birthrate

“Good moms don’t have fun without their kids around.” You might be surprised at the woman who confessed this thought

Mental Wellness

Empathy 101 for A-Holes: A Love Story

August 1, 2021October 18, 2021 Jan Anderson, PSYD, LPCC 100% empathy, a-hole, a-holeness, bad can, brief moment, brief moment of connection, brief moment of utter exasperation, checklist, checklist approach appeal, client, client 's wife, cognitive empathy, counsel session, difficult relative, emotional empathy, empathic concern, empathy, empathy 101, empathy microchip, fix-it mode, genuine way, good care of the kid, good news, gridlock, Harvard business review series, inner a-hole, inner Empath, inner empathic side, let, let 's practice, let 's raise, let 's start, lucky break, moment, narcissist, natural curiosity, occasion of empathic response, operation empathy, partner 's nervous system calm, person 's perspective, personality transplant, raise heart rate, sign of emotion, strong rational mind, system calm, total narcissist, type of empathy, utter exasperation, wife 's bad mood, wife 's emotion, wife 's posture, wrong raise heart rate

“The reason I’m here is my wife is unhappy with me. I’m worried about her because I think she’s really

Mental Wellness

How to Get to a Breakthrough without Having a Breakdown

June 1, 2021September 9, 2021 Jan Anderson, PSYD, LPCC afloat hold pattern, authentic human connection, autopilot mode, bad boyfriend, boyfriend, brain, brain 's need, breakdown, brief description of rain, client, comfort balm, comfort of the familiar fake, compassion, conflict aspect, conflict aspect of complex situation, counsel session, critic attack, crowd of stranger, curiosity, disorient sense, disorient sense of discomfort, emotional risk-taking, familiar fake, field of awareness, friendly curiosity, good type of guy, human programme, inner adrenaline junkie, inner critic attack, less-functional, less-functional behavior pattern, narcissistic boyfriend, neuroscientist, present moment, present-moment reward, present-moment reward of therapy, rain, reward, reward option, sensation, session, survival-inspired, therapist, therapy, too-bad-to-keep-it, too-good-to-rock-the-boat, unsettle experience, wave of sensation, window of tolerance, wonder change, young adult life

“Why do you keep going back if it’s making you feel worse?” my boyfriend asked. We were talking about one

Mental Wellness

Matching to a Medical Residency: When Being Smart Isn’t Enough

April 1, 2021June 16, 2021 Jan Anderson, PSYD, LPCC 15 minute interview, big chance, big strength, business side of medicine, career success, career transition, chance, chosen specialty, comfort zone, deserve candidate, discomfort zone, dream specialty, entire corporate career, gate-keepers, good fit, high-impact essential, intelligence, interpersonal intelligence, interview skill, key gate-keepers, lackluster interview, logical-mathematical, logical-mathematical intelligence, medical residency, medical school, medical school train, medical student, medical student client, multiple intelligence, natural giftedness, newly-minted MD, out-placed, outstand academic, personal happiness, personal statement, pretty tough spot, psychology internship, residency, rigor of medical school train, skill, smarter, specialty, student client

You’d think it would be enough to be really smart, talented, hard-working, and determined. But to land a match in

Mental Wellness

How to Ask for Help If You’re a Perfectionist

February 1, 2021April 14, 2021 Jan Anderson, PSYD, LPCC ability of therapy, actionable change, airline captain, B., big predictor, book coach, book therapist, book-writing, book-writing phobia, bout of profound confusion, Brett Steenbarger, brief psychotherapy, client, client-counselor, client-counselor relationship, confrontational, counsel, divorce, Dr. John Gottman, end of discussion, entrepreneurial mode, environment of hope, ever-expanding morass, exhilarate high, exhilarate high of productivity, expert Dr. John Gottman, exploration of new pattern, face-saving way, favorite face-saving way, focused change effort, good therapist, hand-on-the-doorknob, hand-on-the-doorknob comment, increased empathy, increased expertise, intensive one-on-one therapy, new pattern, old pattern of thought, one-and-done marriage therapy session, one-on-one therapy, ongoing reinforcement, perfectionist, perfectionist tendency, perfectionistic professional, period of absolute clarity, personal counsel experience, personal turn point, plenty personal, powerful emotional experience, pre-marital, pre-marital counsel, professional development, profound confusion, rehearsal of the new pattern, relationship go, science of brief psychotherapy, starter marriage, strength of the client-counselor relationship, stuckness, therapeutic alliance, therapist, therapist 's help, therapy, tortured-reasoning, tricky part, troublesome period, true perfectionist, unhappy couple, use of a supportive relationship, well-meaning adage

I’m writing a book. There, I’ve said it. So almost five years into the process, I guess it’s actually going

Mental Wellness

Tired of Being Triggered? How to Keep from Losing It with People You Love.

December 1, 2020February 17, 2021 Jan Anderson, PSYD, LPCC acceptance, alien value system, app, awareness, big chunk of time, client, co-worker, conflict avoidant, conversational ambush, current mental programme, Dr. Brewer, Dr. Brewer 's app, Dr. Brewer 's research, Dr. Judson Brewer, Dr. Judson Brewer 's family, Dr. Judson Brewer 's family of app, embodied awareness, emotion, emotion manifest, emotional family member, favorite tool, feel subversive, groundbreaking research, handy way, Kristin Neff, Kristin Neff 's impressive body, Kristin Neff 's impressive body of research, MD-UPDATE, new self-esteem, popular memes, powerful practice, rationality, relationship tension, self-compassion, self-esteem, self-judgment, simple premise, standard mindfulness phrase, stun lack, stun lack of awareness, therapist, therapy part, type of focus, up-close-and-personal, up-close-and-personal version, UT-Austin, UT-Austin professor, yoda-type, yoda-type character

Is there anyone who hasn’t been triggered by someone about something this year? Is there anyone who hasn’t felt a

Mental Wellness

The Argument Antidote

October 1, 2020December 1, 2020 Jan Anderson, PSYD, LPCC actual behavior, argument antidote, behavior, body language, champion of relationship, chance, counterintuitive notion, Dr. John Gottman, endless struggle, gather dust, good chance, Gottman, Gottman 's research, Hal, insufficient condition, intimate personal relationship, John Gottman, love lab, love part, major marital conflict, majority of marital conflict, marital conflict, marriage therapy, master of relationship, mental closet, mundane annoyance, northern California home, partner, partner 's commitment, partner 's willingness, perpetual category, raw footage data means, real couple, real live couple, relationship 's good, relationship process, relationship superpower, repellent, resentment, resentment repellent, science of relationship, sense of the delicate balance, Sidra, Sidra 's work, Sidra stone, sink feel, skill, solution-focused, solution-focused communication skill, solution-focused process, solution-focused skill, therapist, tone of voice, unadorned translation, week-long workshop, wonder relationship

“There’s absolutely no hope for this relationship,” I thought to myself, with a sinking feeling. It was my first time

Mental Wellness

Suicidal Thoughts? They’re Not a Good Predictor of Suicide

August 1, 2020October 19, 2020 Jan Anderson, PSYD, LPCC area of the brain, big risk factor, brain, client, client 's shoe, client stop, client stop think suicidal thought, clinician, constricted think, counselor-client, counselor-client relationship, counterintuitive part, crisis counselor, crucial connection, drown person, good clinical train, good predictor of a suicide attempt, good predictor of suicide, helpful person, hotline, inner critic, internal negotiation, judgment, Kentucky right, life jacket, live buffer, local crisis counselor, local suicide hotline, major national public health issue, Marsha Linehan, mental constriction, Muzak queue, near-critical, near-critical car accident, normal human suffer, option, person contemplate suicide, powerful protective factor, problem-solving impairment, psychologist call, psychology nerd, rational thought, resourceful lady, safety plan, severe mental strain, Sidra stone, standard record, start function, suicide, suicide assessment, suicide attempt, suicide hotline, surreal minute, surreal minute of easy listen music, texted help

Thinking about suicide is not a very good predictor of a suicide attempt. Thinking about suicide isn’t even one of

Mental Wellness

The Upside of a Self-Absorbed Mother

May 1, 2020September 4, 2020 Jan Anderson able therapist, antisocial tendency, blank inside, clever workaround, coat-hanger, disadvantage of a mother, egocentric stage, egocentric stage of development, fashion history, fat chance, hallmark card section, lovely reply, mini-dress, mother 's day, mother example, nice letter, painful period, pant, pant prohibition, pantsuit, phony card, pretty card, pretty serious damage, prevail social norm, self-absorbed mother, short mini-dress, station of life, sweet gift, therapist, upside of a Self-Absorbed mother, utter frustration, well-meaning adult

Along with all the downsides, I consider myself fortunate to have grown up with a self-absorbed mother. (My father was,

Mental Wellness

Both/And Thinking Makes You Smarter and More Emotionally Intelligent

March 1, 2020June 1, 2020 Jan Anderson, PSYD, LPCC #MeToo, air-tight container type, air-tight container type of brain, big container, cognitive disarray, container, cool part, discomfort of hold opposite, door number three, emotional receptivity, expanded think, Hal, hellish state, jungian-based, jungian-based skill, opposite, organizational meltdown, outpour of unity, over-accentuate, overt sign of hatred, personal recipient, radical acceptance, receptivity, sense of strength, Sidra, Sidra stone, tension of the opposite, three thousand, three thousand mile drive, white think mind, zen koan

Right after 9/11, my mentors, Drs. Hal and Sidra Stone wrote about their decision to make the three thousand mile

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